I desperately need to lose about 20 kilos.

Well let's go through the evolution of the Hoff.




That's me, 8 years ago before I started drinking like the town drunk. Look at me, I am a hunk. I got laid 5 times every weekend without even trying. John Travolta lips, a very marked face etc. I even had hair like Fabio back then!

So I evolve.



About 3-4 years ago perhaps. I was still quite fit but started gaining weight. Not for the worse though since it was mostly muscle considering what I did for a living. The hair is growing a lot thinner and I look bloated.

The evolution goes on.




This is me, last summer in Sunny Beach, Bulgaria. Swollen like I am about to explode, slightly overweight and not much hair under the cap. Still got the charm to convince most women to jump in the sack with me if I put my mind too it.

Onwards!




Last weekend when I fried sausages. I've lost some weight since last summer but I still have a long journey to go to my goal. I apreciate that I can't do anything about the hair loss and I am quite fine without my hair. As you can see I am wearing my cap most of the time :)

Don't worry though, I still get laid on a regular basis, sadly I can't pick the girls like I used to be able too. And i can't be the deviant fiend I used to be either. That's all about to change though.

Sooner or later I am gonna have a weight-loss section on the blog so you can see if I achieve or not!


Tomorrow I will talk about my thoughts about female breasts, it's a mystery to all men.


/Hoff

Googly, googly, googly begone!

I am not the usual swine that spill drinks and beer all over a party but it did happen last weekend. I was cleaning up my mess though and instead of having to run to the kitchen everytime to squeeze the filthy soaked rag in the sink I squeezed it in the glass I just tipped over. Worked good for me and everyone else until I asked the group of people if they wanted to taste my drink. A girl that hadn't paid much attention wanted to. There you go girl! I hope it tasted well!

This very same girl was rather slutty and at the end of the party she started ripping her pantyhose to shreds. She came over to the kitchen while I was frying sausages and pulled out a thread from under her skirt and told me to rip it. Being the deviate fiend that I am I was game. So I pulled the thread and it didn't wanna move, she bent over like she wanted it from behind and I pulled the thread with some kind of He-man like kind of strength. She then says.

-That was my panties.

Oh God, I better get back to the sausages I thought, this can get ugly.

/Hoff

Retards and Roughnecks.

Lots of things have happened since last time. Landlord issues that I couldn't give a fuck about, Drunken mischiefs with "The Fat One" Drunken escapades on my own. Been reading more woks of Dr. Hunter S Thompson, and I am totally convinced that if I could resurrect one person and have a long winding discussion with him it would our very own Doctor.

I did watch a movie that was rather interesting called Zeitgeist. The movie was about conspiracy theories and how the Central Banks in America controls the cash flow etc. Saying that, you should always take these movies with a pinch of salt since they are pretty much angled towards the worse. Still very interesting however.

I hosted a party last weekend and invited way too many guests (as usual). However it was a great party but I didn't end up in any odd situations like I usually do since I did actually carry it on my shoulders to supervise what was going on, and ofcourse some rotten douchebags has to turn up and make a mess out of things. I sorted that and the party went on untill 5 or 6 in the morning. Seeing as the apartment is to be reconstructed people were allowed to write whatever they wanted on the walls. Some funny texts on there I have to admit.

For the record, I have shaved today. I looked like Bud Spencer for better and worse. Bud Spencer is a tough guy and all that so I guess it was ok. To hell with it though, it was too much in the way!

Looks like I might get a job soon, we can only hope. Got fuck all money these days, sooner or later I will have to sell my arse on the highway. If I don't get a job I might just piss off and follow my nose into the blue horizon. Pretty bored of this crap at the moment. There is still snow all over the roads here and it's dead annoying.

The other day I even dreamt that I won 7500$ and that the snow was gone. Guess if I felt rotten when I woke up and realised none of it was true.

Anyways, gotta shoot. Off to a party.

Speak to ya tomorrow.

Dickheads.


/The Hoff

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

You can't invent someone like The Hoff. He is... he is one of a kind. He is a mutant. A real heavyweight water buffalo type... who can chew his way through a concrete wall and spit out the other side covered with lime and chalk and look good in doing it.


I know I have been major slack, I have been busy doing various things such as reading books, attending parties and playing games. Expect huge updates tomorrow and sunday.


/Hoff