New Years Eve,

The evening when all the rotten kids get drunk and ruin it for us adults, I have however also been a drunken kid but let's not talk about that.

For me these days it's more about hooking up with good old friends and remeniss. Hah, who am I kidding, I am in it only to get masterfully shitfaced. Obviously the friends make the experience better. This year my dear friend Heacy is hosting the party and I have invited some people that generally doesn't spend new years with us. But the more, the merrier.

So what have I achieved this past year?

I lost my job due to the economical crisis.
I met lots of new friends as usual and went on new adventures.

*I went to Sunny Beach, Bulgaria for 2 weeks and had a blast with all the friends I met
there last year. My feet also transformed into the feet of a 250 kilo woman.
*I worked in Copenhagen where I built balconies but shit hit the fan.
*And then obvously all the drunken mischiefs I've been a part of.
*Probably gained 10 kilos.

What are the goals for next year?

*I need to lose some weight, that's for sure.
*I want to open a pub/nightclub or pick up my studies to become something utterly pointless, but fun!
*I need to get myself an IMAX 3D Theatre so I can watch Avatar in 3d at home.
*Start heading to the gym, the weights at home are getting too lightweight.
*Keep my flat clean and tidy.
*Go to Sweden Rock Festival.

We'll see what happens I guess, working on the flat at the moment and that's a big project to say the least. But I'll get there, in the end.

I wish you all a happy new year and don't take any shit from the swine.

/Hoff

What's the fucking problem?!

On a scale of 1-10 I'd rate myself as a5 or 6. 6 We'll say, I have friends that look shedloads better than I do but ok, I have to admit it. I have "the" personality, everyone loves me, wherever I go I become the center of attention. These friends though, they have only ever seen pussy on a Christmas card. Sad, isn't it?

I've had more blondes than brunettes, even though I prefer brunettes but I am not a picky person. It all depends on how much I have been drinking, I even had sex with a short fat ugly girl because she offered me 30€. Hell, why not? I admit it, I am a whore but I more comfortable with myself than any of you will ever be. I love myself like you love your wives, parents, husbands and your closest friends.


So how hard is it to get laid? Being the predator that I am, I have learnt the technique and the right words to say. So getting laid is as easy as taking a leak. I could give courses in it for a good salary, leave a comment on here if you are interested and we'll sort something out.

I've recently been developing a soft spot in my heart for someone though, I do not like this since I have no idea to handle it. I am not a relationship kind of person and we were only meant to be friends, but then again, what can one do when we are found in this situaton?

Only truth will tell and I will get back to you on this subject, I can promise you though, the girl in question is a 10/10. I wouldn't settle for less.

I am still fucking sold on "Avatar" I cannot get it out of my head, I have even started listening to the themesong with Leona Lewis just to watch the video. It's not my kind of music but it'll do... And yeah, Neytiri is amazingly beautiful. It does not matter that the she is an animated alien felmale. the bodylanguage and the expressions speaks for themselves.

Here is the video if any of you are interested.



“I See You” (Theme from Avatar) by Leona Lewis in HD

Trailer Park | MySpace Video


Signing out.

/Hoff

Ho Ho Ho Bloody Ho.

Here in Sweden we celebrate christmas the 24th, the 25th and 26th is big "going out on the piss" days. I will probably end up in some awkward situation or something. So more stories incoming!

Signing out.

/Hoff

The unacceptably drunk finds a Zimmer frame!

A couple of months back me and my very dear friend "The Fat one" decided to go out on the piss. It started with some pre-drinking at The Fat ones flat.



This man is an extraordinary creature, when I first met him he could only say. Wank, porno, grogg, fat, and the names of his favourite hockey and football teams. His vocabulary is slightly bigger these days so one can actually have half a normal conversation with him.


Anyways, I was invited to a party nearby and I decided to bring this 250 pound drunkard with me. The party was decent I guess, not many good looking girls however. Me and The Fat one decided to take the train into town but on our way down we found this Zimmer frame... Awesome, what is better than going out with a zimmer frame?

Both of us being incredibky drunk, I set the course for the train station with The Fat one on the Zimmer frame. During top speed I hit the brakes and The Fat one crashes into the pavement.



Needless to say we didn't get to keep the zimmer frame, but sooner or later we'll find a new one.

Merry Christmas all of you.

/Hoff

Avatar.

I have not updated my blog in over 2 weeks, I am a slack and I know that. I have however been busy with other things. I have many more stories to tell you so don't worry.

Today I am not gonna tell you about my drunken mischiefs but instead tell you about one of the greatest things I have ever experienced.

I wake up on saturday with a banging headache from last nights drinking. Me and two friends had already decided tograb a pizza at the local pizza-place at 1pm since that is opening time. The three of us meet up outside then we go inside and make our orders. The food arrives and it's tasty as usual. No normal man can eat an entire pizza at this joint, they are huge. After we are done we decide to hit the cinema and watch this new movie Avatar.

We get home to my friends place and order tickets for the 3D version at the IMAX Theatre. Not having much expectations when we arrived and got those silly looking goggles everything changed in a heartbeat. The screen tells us to put on the goggles so we do. It's a trailer for Tim Burtons new movie Alice in wonderland. Since I am a big fan of Johnny Depp's I already knew that this movie would be amazing but how things changed with the 3D goggles was far beyond anything I expected.

Avatar itself was breathtaking, I was completely speechless during the entire movie. There's an entire world with creatures and vegetation. I just want to reach out and touch these amazing looking plants and animals that never stops appearing on and what appears to be outside the screen. The Na'vi as they are called that Inhabit the moon Pandora which is were the movie takes place are tall, slim and blue creatures with facial appearances that resembles a cat. The CGI is spot on, everything seems so real. The female Na'vi has got amazing bodies just the way I want them, but preferably huuman I guess. And let's not forget about General Quarich, he is an amazing character and evil as nothing you've ever seen before.

The movie itself is a masterpiece but the 3D function just blows you away, it's a milestone in the moviebusiness and like nothing I have ever seen before. The visual experience is so fantastic that it can't be described with words. If you are thinking about downloading this movie I hardly recommend you not too, it's worth every penny it costs to go and see at the cinema and by downloading it you will just ruin the entire experience.

Seeing as none of us can buy a ticket to Pandora, go and watch the movie at a 3D theatre because this is as close as you will ever get to experience another planet.

Signing out.

/Hoff

Beer googles, whale hunts and Hotdogs

Just came home from the afterparty, still a bit wasted. We men have an extaordinary ability to turn the very simplest thing into the most beautiful thing when we put on the beer googles.

To make any sense of this shit I am gonna start the story with me being in town. I met a girl that I've met many times before but always ignored somehow today she was a fucking bombshell. I obviously start hitting on her and it's not a hard mission, she follows me to the train to then tag along with me home. On the train, thank God. My friend phones me up to let me know that there is an afterparty at his place. "Game" I say out loud and there we go, the afterparty. When we get there I shove my tongue down her throat and tell her all the things you tell a girl to get laid, Easy. Some dickhead (probably me)puts on a a slow song and she invites me to a dance. Sure I think, I guess I have to make some sacrifices to get laid tonight. Like a warm wind from Africa in the face of a human being inhabiting Sweden during the winter everything becomes clear. I look around and think to myself, where am I? what I am doing, and what the hell is this I have in my arms? I tell her I feel sick and sit down. She sits down next to me and all of my friends gives me that (you know what I mean) smile. I kind of stop talking to her, she still sits there totally quiet just waiting for me to go home and bring her with me. I finally decide to hide under a Swedish flag I find nearby.

At that point the time is about 08:00 am and I need Hotdogs! My friend and I decides that it's an awesome idea to head up the supermarket and get some. Stone drunk we begin our small adventure, the girl tags along. When we arrive the shop it's unfortunately closed and doesn't open until 9.... I tell my friend, let's go around to the back and pester these mongs. The girl says no I don't wanna do this, leave then I say and so she did. There's a few people loading off breadloafs at the loadingbay and I start screaming like an utter deviant retard that I am hungry. I sense fear in the people around me and someone throws me a a loaf of bread. Where is the cream cheese! I yell, a man in a blue overall says gimme some money and I'll pick one up for you. 2 minutes later he arrives with some cheese for me and then he sends me and my buddy packing. Mission accomplished!

Well, 40 minutes till the train for the next party departs. Need to get myself sorted.

/Hoff

Why?

There are many ways of living a life, depending on what choices you make and what goals you have put up. But why is it always that people think I am an idiot when I tell them how I wanna live my life?

I have a few different goals in life and one f them is not having kids and not growing old. When I tell people that I'd rather live a hilarious life and die at 40 than a good life and die at 80, they look at me like I am an alien..

What's so wrong with that? It's not like I am gonna become a murderer or do something unacceptable?

And where's the fun in getting old, just fade away? Hell, the way I am living is gonna stop me from getting old anyways.. The good thing is that I won't have to save up a retirement fund as I will never be able to use it anyway.

Going out with The Fat one this saturday so there is probably gonna be something good to write about.

/Hoff